I've always struggled with the idea of being a working mom. Since both of my kids were 5 months old, I've worked. Trust me, I've had times when I have wanted to stay home. But, bills. Since Steve is self-employed, I've been the one to carry the health benefits. And I love providing for my family in this way. But there have been times (and I hate to say it, but especially in the community of believers), I've felt judged for not staying home with my kids. I see a lot of women in the church who are home with their kids, many of them homeschooling, and I sometimes get jealous.
But then I always think, if I could stay home, would I? I absolutely love that I get to teach part time this year, I'm just feeling so incredibly blessed. It's given me more time at home with my family and also more time to build a business that I'm passionate about. Seriously, I've never felt this way about a job before. And I've started to think, maybe this is it. Maybe this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Working part time outside of the home, getting to be home more than half the time, and running a business from home.
And honestly, I'm trying not to over-think all of this. I so desire to be content with my life exactly how the Lord has it in this moment. And at the same time always asking for guidance and direction, never assuming that because it's what He has for me today, it's what He'll want for me next year, or even next month. I'm so grateful He knows my heart and it's deepest desires. And I love talking to Him about them. As the desires of my heart become more clear and my passions are discovered, I can't wait to see exactly how this all plays out in my life, either outside of the home, part time, or as my own boss.