Monday, February 17, 2014

why set free || part one

I've had several people ask me why I named my new blog Set Free, so I thought I'd share my heart & thoughts behind it...

For many years I struggled with different things that I never wanted anyone to know about...things in my marriage, with my faith, I had some resentment built up, and a couple people in my life I wasn't able to forgive.  I didn't share these things because I felt ashamed and didn't want to expose who I really was on the inside.  I thought if I could just be a better Christian, my marriage would be better, my faith would be stronger, the resentment would go away, and I would eventually get to a point where I could forgive.  But really I was faking it.

The Lord brought an amazing friend into my life, someone so genuine, who loved me unconditionally, always kind and gentle with her words.  And as we became better friends, she began to share with me about struggles she was having in her marriage, her lack of faith, resentment that had built up in her heart, and a lack of forgiveness extended to others.

And after she shared these things with me, I still loved her, my thoughts and feelings toward her as my friend weren't any different than they were before I knew these things.  Except now I felt like she completely trusted me, and I had so much more love and respect for her than I had before.  Even though now I knew who she really was.

So little by little I allowed myself to be, my marriage isn't perfect either.  And I let my guard down a faith, it's weak, and I want to be strong, but I don't know how.  And I allowed the layers to be peeled away...I have resentment in my heart, an unwillingness to forgive, and it's making me ugly, I don't want to be ugly.

In those moments of being vulnerable and feeling completely exposed, I also felt complete freedom.  Like my heart and soul had literally been set free.  I no longer had to hide behind a wall of something I wasn't, I could tear the wall down with confidence. Once the wall was down, I still felt loved, respected, and wanted by my friend.  And it was beautiful. 

I think sometimes as people who work in full-time ministry, we feel like we can't talk about our "problems" to other people because then it makes us look weak, like we have no place to minister if we have issues.  So we bottle it up.  And that's where it stays...hurting us inside.

Freedom in Christ is a beautiful thing.  I'm still going to mess up, I'm going to struggle, my heart is going to hurt.  But I don't have to keep hurting.  When I find those who bear my burdens with me, who pray for me, encourage me, love me unconditionally, I have found those who've also found freedom in Christ.  And that's where I want to continue to live my life...always knowing I've been Set Free by the One who gave me this freedom.
1 Peter 4:8 Keep loving one another  |  #Bible #Verse

1 comment:

Christina Schergen said...

LOVE THIS! I love the new bloggy look!