Monday, June 2, 2014

grateful heart



 This week I am grateful for so many things.  And I think it's so important to not just say "I'm grateful," but to actually write down the things I'm grateful for.  It makes me more aware of all that God is doing...how He's working in my heart...drawing me closer to Him through every joy and trial.  My heart has been overflowing lately.  May was one of the best and also worst months for me.  But I can see God's hand in all of it.  Especially the hardest parts.

First of all, I am so grateful for this tiny life growing inside me.  It still doesn't seem completely real, almost like a dream.  But I love that we're talking about it now.  Every time I do, it reminds me of the Lord's faithfulness in my life.  Looking back on the 4+ years of desiring to grow our family...I don't want to ever experience hardship like that again, but I'm so thankful for all of it.  All the stretching and growing...it's been part of God's plan since the beginning and has helped mold me into the wife and mom I am today.

I'm so grateful that my Gramma was part of my life for the last 34 (almost 35) years.  It's still so hard to believe she's gone.  But I feel so blessed to have been influenced by her the way I was.  She was the rock of our family, the joyful matriarch, a humble servant.  I'm grateful she's no longer suffering in her earthly body, but is now (tap) dancing in the presence of Jesus...or gardening, or ice skating, or telling stories.  Losing her has been one of the hardest things I've ever been through, but I have so much peace.

I'm so grateful Steve has had so much work, doing what he loves to do...what he was created to do...and has been so fulfilled creatively the last 6 weeks.  But I miss him.  Single parenting is not for the faint of heart.  It's been so hard...my patience has been tested...and I've failed many times.  Puppy training is hard...my patience has been tested....I've realized what a significant role Steve plays in my life.  I've always known he's my other half, but I've literally lived like half a person for the last 6 weeks.  It's weird.  Some of you know what I'm talking about.  As I've gone through each day, I've thought so many times, "I wish Steve was here to experience this," or "I wish Steve was here to help with this," or.....but then I talk to him on the phone and hear how excited he is about all that God is doing in his life and I remember it's all worth it.  This is just a season that God has called us to.  It is my privilege to serve my husband and Claire in this way.  It won't be like this forever...eventually a new challenge will come along...and for all these things, my heart is grateful.

Grateful Heart Monday

4 comments:

Anne said...

Stopping by from the link up...congrats on your new addition! Parenting is so hard; even harder when you are doing it alone (even temporarily). My husband works out of town for 3-4 weeks during the summer and it's not easy! My appreciation for him increases tenfold during those weeks!

Rebecca O said...

Hi Amy - I'm stopping by from Emily's link up - nice to 'meet' you! Congratulations on beginning to grow your family - it's so exciting to be expecting a little one, even as it's filled with anxiety for the parenting side of it (that may have been just me..!) I'm sorry that you lost your grandmother recently. It's never easy saying goodbye, even when you know that your loved one is now with God. It sounds as though you've had some ups and downs and yet, you still wrote about so many things for which to be grateful. That's awesome, and inspiring. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading your blog going forward.
PS - your button at the top made me start singing that song...thank you!! A good reminder as I go throughout the day.

Ember Grey. said...

I am so, so excited for you, Amy! Congratulations on your little babe!!! I love the thought of your Grams tap dancing up there... do you dance? My mom let me take tap dance lessons when I was little and the teacher told her it would not be my strong suit.... I have never been the most coordinated person ;) My husband travels quite a bit for his job too (not as much as he did when we were first dating).. it is so hard and lonely, and I can't imagine going through it with a little one. (I will tell you though- I have learned how to use most of the tools in the tool box, as well as kill spiders... all on my own. Baby steps...) XO

Rebecca O said...

Amending the above because I hadn't tooled around your blog just yet - I see you already have a lovely little girl, so the congrats should be for expanding your family further rather than 'beginning to grow'!!