Tuesday, September 9, 2014

what makes the perfect mom?

Today I'm linking up with Ashley from That Southern Mama to write about my vision of the perfect mama.  When I read that topic, my first thought was, "I can't wait to read what others have to say!!"


I think when a lot of us picture the perfect mama, we picture clean laundry and a perfectly decorated home.  A spotless car, well behaved children who don't pick their noses or pass gas in public.  A mom who bakes the perfect gluten/dairy free chocolate chip cookies and makes kale chips fresh from the perfect garden in the backyard of her Pinterest home.  OK...well maybe that's an exaggeration, but I think with the popularity of social media these days, it's made it easier for us to compare ourselves to others and create an unachievable definition of perfection.

Of course we all know that when the is standard based on perfection, we will never achieve it.  So why are we killing ourselves trying to be something we know we can never be?


As a full time working momma, there is one word that has meant so much to me.  A word that I'm constantly having to repeat to myself.  A word, that is not just for me because I work full-time, but for all mommas out there.

Grace.

I know, you already know this.  But are you practicing grace in your life?  Seriously, give yourself grace.  Everyday.  Every hour.  Every minute.  When you do, it will make you better for your family and for yourself.  

One thing I'm challenging myself to do right now is train my 6 year old to do things that I don't need to be doing for her.  Because time is always so limited, I often find myself doing things myself rather than training Claire how to do them, because it would just be easier, quicker.  Really I'm doing both of us a disservice.  Part of my job as her mom is to raise her to be responsible and hard working, not relying on others to just take care of issues for her.  And then again, grace.  For her, as she learns and develops new skills.

I'm learning that as I give myself grace and give my daughter grace, I'm also giving myself more time to enjoy the little moments in each day.  Not the big celebrated moments, but the little, routine, daily moments.  The little ones that capture who my family is right in this moment....Claire daily kissing my belly, chasing the puppy around the yard, learning to make her own pb&j, trying to style her own hair, choosing her own crazy outfits, wanting to create her own recipes...all these moments I don't want to forget.  But if I was trying to be "perfect," we wouldn't have time to stop and kiss my belly.  I'd be on my phone or computer instead of chasing in the yard with Claire and Coco.  I would have more time because I wouldn't be in the kitchen cleaning the pb&j mess.  Her hair would be styled in a way that I would consider socially acceptable.   We wouldn't mix so many patterns in our outfits.  And our recipes wouldn't all be based on loads of sugar and chocolate chips.

Grace.  

It's something I struggle with every day.  It will be a lifelong lesson for me to learn, especially now with another babe on the way.  But grace.  Always grace.  That is my wish for you today.. Whether your a mom or not.  Grace.


21 comments:

Anne @ Love the Here and Now said...

I love this, I need this. Grace. Perfect! Thank you so much!

ashley said...

Love love! <3 Be sure to link it up on the Mamas Tell All link up! :P

socalledhomemaker said...

Great post! Thanks for linking up to Mamas Tell All!

Whitney said...

O my goodness, I love this so much. This is beautiful, what an uplifting message. I really needed this today, I work full time too. I'm so hard on myself at times. I need to allow myself some grace, really beautiful!

Brittany said...

This is so beautiful and I am so thankful that you decided to join us for the linkup this week. I love your fresh perspective on this and completely agree that social media puts unnecessary demands on modern-day mamas. Thanks again!

Melissa Camacho said...

Amy this is SO beautiful. So well written. As a full time working mom as well, I totally agree with all of this. Grace is what we need and Grace is what our children need. I'm so glad you posted this today. :)

Amy @ Set Free said...

Thank you! It's something I'm having to constantly remind myself of these days. I like myself so much more when I give grace!!

Amy @ Set Free said...

I loved writing this...thanks for the inspiration. ;)

Amy @ Set Free said...

Thank you!! I loved writing this!!

Amy @ Set Free said...

Oh I'm so glad!! Thank you for letting me know! Grace is something I think all of us need to give ourselves more of!

Amy @ Set Free said...

Thank you!! I appreciate you taking the time to read! :)

Amy @ Set Free said...

Thank you!! I loved writing this post, it was one of those that was just so good for my soul!!

Amy @ Set Free said...

Ah, thank you! It was one of those posts that just come pouring out! Didn't realize my heart was so prepared to write it! :)

Bethany Floyd said...

I am not a mom yet but this is so helpful and will definitely be stored in my memory for the future!! Thanks for the encouragement. We all need grace!!

Amy @ Set Free said...

Thanks Bethany! I appreciate your kind words, and yes, we all need grace! No matter what we're doing, what our roles are, grace is for everyone!

Mariel Collins said...

There are definitely no perfect moms! It something I think we have to relearn over and over again, I know I always forget to give myself grace!

Amy @ Set Free said...

Me too!! It's a constant thing to remind myself of...grace! This weekend, I feel like I got a lot of good practice as I definitely was letting the pressures of life get to me. Just began to whisper "grace" over and over to myself and felt such a peace!

Madison said...

I love this! I think everyone (mamas or not!) need this reminder. But I'm sure especially as a mom the pressure is much higher on yourself to be perfect! But present over perfect is much more important!

Ashley LaMar said...

Aww this is so great! What a wonderful post and you're exactly right. It's ok to be good enough, not perfect, and to just do the best you can.

Amy @ Set Free said...

We all have pressures, I don't want to sound like moms have more! :) Yes, present over perfect!! My word for this year is intentional, which I'm working really hard to be, but I still need to remind myself of grace.

Amy @ Set Free said...

Thank you! It seems like it's just a good reminder for us all! :)