Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Grateful Heart || My Momma Heart

Be warned.  This post is a rambling of my heart and thoughts right now.  It may not completely make sense to everyone.  Or anyone.  This one is mostly for me to just get my thoughts out there and if anyone has any amount of wisdom to bestow upon me, I'm ready.

I've always struggled with the idea of being a working mom.  Since both of my kids were 5 months old, I've worked.  Trust me, I've had times when I have wanted to stay home.  But, bills.  Since Steve is self-employed, I've been the one to carry the health benefits.  And I love providing for my family in this way.  But there have been times (and I hate to say it, but especially in the community of believers), I've felt judged for not staying home with my kids.  I see a lot of women in the church who are home with their kids, many of them homeschooling, and I sometimes get jealous.

But then I always think, if I could stay home, would I?  I absolutely love  that I get to teach part time this year, I'm just feeling so incredibly blessed. It's given me more time at home with my family and also more time to build a business that I'm passionate about.  Seriously, I've never felt this way about a job before.  And I've started to think, maybe this is it.  Maybe this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Working part time outside of the home, getting to be home more than half the time, and running a business from home.

And honestly, I'm trying not to over-think all of this. I so desire to be content with my life exactly how the Lord has it in this moment. And at the same time always asking for guidance and direction, never assuming that because it's what He has for me today, it's what He'll want for me next year, or even next month. I'm so grateful He knows my heart and it's deepest desires. And I love talking to Him about them. As the desires of my heart become more clear and my passions are discovered, I can't wait to see exactly how this all plays out in my life, either outside of the home, part time, or as my own boss. 

10 comments:

Christine Everyday said...

I am so glad you've reached a point in your career where you are truly happy! That is so important.

Amy @ Set Free said...

Thank you!! And seriously...I never thought I'd be an MLM'er or selling essential oils, but I have found so much passion in team building, helping people, and learning about health and wellness...I don't even know who I am anymore!! :)

Southern Komfort Blog said...

I love that God knows the desires of your heart, and He knows what's best. I'm already struggling with what I'm going to do when we start having kids because I too carry our health insurance (plus other benefits). Praying that God continues to open doors and guides you through this journey!

Nikki Stevens said...

I can't wait to see how this plays out for you either! You have a wonderful outlook on your work-home situation. I wish I could say I was content to be working, it's definitely an area I pray a lot about. Your positive attitude is very inspiring!

Amy @ Set Free said...

It's so hard! Since I have to work at this point, I'm grateful I get to do what I love and work at Claire's school....we have lunch together on the days I'm working!! But yes, pressing hard into Him, praying that His desires would also be mine.

Amy @ Set Free said...

Well thank you for the encouragement...but I'm not always this positive about it. I have to pray about my attitude daily and still ask God to give me the opportunity to be home full time with my kiddos!

Emily @ Ember Grey. said...

I love your heart <3 I am so lucky to have beautiful mommas as sweet friends - I look up to you so much!

Amy @ Set Free said...

omg...ALL the tears. You are always so encouraging to my heart. Love you so much!!

Chloé Arnold said...

Adore your heart! You are just beautiful!

Amy @ Set Free said...

Chloe! Thank you for saying that. Such an encouragement to my heart. xoxo